What’s your biggest challenge when it comes to setting boundaries?
Maybe it’s not knowing what to say and worrying that you’ll hurt someone’s feelings if you get it wrong.
Maybe you’re so flustered while setting a boundary, you tumble down a rabbit hole of apologies and explanations.
Or maybe setting them is sorta doable, but it feels way too awkward to reinforce your boundaries if someone crosses them later.
Chances are, you know that boundaries are super important for building healthy relationships…
…but actually setting and maintaining them?
That’s a very different animal!
An Effective, Two-Pronged Approach to Boundary Setting
The first is learning how to deal with all of the thoughts and feelings that arise before, during, and after setting a boundary.
Maybe you get sucked into a quicksand of guilt or shame, which makes boundary setting feel stressful AF.
Perhaps you get caught in looping thoughts—things like, “OMG does this person hate me now? Do they think I’m being super demanding?”
Learning how to work effectively with these thoughts and feelings…
helps you step out of people-pleasing patterns…
so you can clearly and kindly communicate what you need…
creating more trust and authentic closeness in your relationships.
We’ll be using easy-to-learn techniques from Internal Family Systems (IFS) to help you transform overwhelm into very doable forward progress and lasting change.
The second is learning specific boundary-setting strategies, things like…
- how to start challenging boundary conversations
- how to state your boundaries in a way that feels authentic to you
- what to do when someone tries to argue with or cross your boundaries—and more!
What will you learn in this class?
You’ll be equipped with the tools and strategies you need to feel confident before, during, and after you set a boundary.
Before you set a boundary:
The difference between setting a boundary versus trying to control someone (because confusing the two can make boundary setting waaaaay harder than it needs to be)
How personal boundaries are like a witch’s magick circle (and why that’s super helpful)
The G-word: Guilt and how to deal with it, so it doesn’t keep you stuck in people pleasing
How to take excellent care of yourself, so intense thoughts and feelings don’t keep you from setting much-needed boundaries
Figuring out what your boundaries are
During setting a boundary:
How to clearly communicate your boundaries without feeling like a jerk
How to support yourself if you’re feeling so anxious while setting a boundary, you wonder if you might spontaneously combust
How to say no to requests, even if you’re a habitual people pleaser
A simple boundary-setting script and how to adapt it to any situation
After setting a boundary:
How to deal with nagging thoughts and intense feelings after you set a boundary
How to handle people arguing with or crossing your boundaries
How to deal with other people’s resistance when you’re setting boundaries with them for the first time
What to do when you’re the one breaking your own boundaries!
Ready to make boundary setting way less scary?
I want to give you the very same tools and strategies that helped me go from never setting boundaries and feeling trapped in stomach-curdling resentment and people pleasing, to being able to do things like:
- asking for what I need, so I don’t feel unsupported and lonely in my relationships
- cutting off contact with difficult family members without dramatic blow-ups
- lovingly letting someone know I’m not a dumping ground for their complaints without damaging our connection and more.
Healthy boundaries make relationships more satisfying and less stressful.
Let’s do this together.
Course curriculum
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1Part One: Before You Set a Boundary
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2Part Two: Setting Boundaries
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3Part Three: After You Set a Boundary